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My solitary practice was very minimal in the beginning. I had a very small amount of what would become a yearly ritual, and very few tools that were magical in and of themselves. I started my ritual in the smallest of fashions by carrying a piece of cloth I was in love with in my pocket. I opened the cloth, took out the piece of jewelry I wanted to wear, lit a candle, and began my meditation. I had very little, but it was my ritual. Powerful enough to change my life, it would be enough to change my state of being. Of course, since I started doing rituals this way, I increased my scripted rituals as I gained confidence. After filling out the ritual outline, I would journal on one of my rituals.
Everything I believed I knew about would-be and benevolent witches in my tradition were garbage, yet my research kept bringing me back to their adages, their secrecy, and other aspects of their practice. I looked into alternative medicines and holistic practices hoping to heal myself of an illness. I learned that sometimes illness is a part of life. I looked to see if I could find my purpose in life and came to the conclusion that I did not have one. I was not a witch. I was not a healer.
I had never heard anything less than “if you want to be a werewolf, you have to be a werewolf.” Unlearning everything I knew and questioning everything I was told about my religion, I continued on. I dug deeper into my spiritual past. The more I thought about Lilith and her story, the more I needed for her story to be real. I realized that my Lilith is no longer just a myth. I am starting to feel the weight of her presence in my life. I no longer want to become what others say you have to be to be Wiccan. I am starting to feel more comfortable in just being me. d2c66b5586